It has been a while since i last purged and about three months ago i stopped starving myself...It felt good not to care so much about dieting but every now and then i get depressed because i failed.I failed to keep the promise i gave to myself before summer.I lost 6kg only to gain them again in three fucking months...I want to be thin..to be that skinny friend everyone has!When i lost the weight people started noticing and i was thrilled, it gave me courage.Now i'm just a fat lazy girl.I WANT HER BACK.I miss ana so badly...when i had her in my mind i had a motive to keep waking up every morning.I would say to myself: Hey, get out of bed u have all these calories to burn today.I feel emty...Even mia left me..She was always there for 3 years but latelly she gave up on me.I am not healed because they left me.I want them back, both of them.I NEED THEM BACK.My eating disorders made me feel special , like i had a whole secret life, like i had something dark hiding from the world.I dont like to be average.I am not a normal girl...Its time to wake them up..It's time for Ana to come back stronger than ever..I want Ana to take control of my mind and tell me what to do and what to eat.It may be hard but i will be rewarded in the end...I was born to be an Ana, now i realise that she is not an illness of the mind as i thought.She is part of me.A part of me that i cannot let go.Please, come back